Out takes...and other favorites...

Its Bobby's 1st Halloween....our neighborhood is about to be enchanted!

A special thanks to Tara for taking Bobby's halloween pics.

In other exciting news...Bobby slept through the night last night!! I put him down at about 8:20 ish...he stirred around for like two minutes around 9 pm and then I didn't hear one single peep from him till I went in and woke him up at 6 am! SUCCESS!! I could NOT believe it! Now, all I have to do is remind myself how to sleep through the night again! I woke up at 2am worrying...and then again at 4:30, so I snuck into his room and I think I figured out part of the reason for such a peaceful slumber. He had rolled over on his belly! He wasn't flat on his tummy...but was 90% there. He has been enjoying sleeping on his side lately, so I knew this moment would come. But since tummy sleeping is such a no-no these days I am of course freaked out by it. At what age does it actually get safe to sleep this way? When he can roll back and forth himself? Cause he can, thats not a issue. I have nothing else in the bed whatsoever...no toys, no pillows, no blankets...just him on a flat mattress with a sheet of course. Soooo...is it safe to leave him in this position????

Night 6: The Sleep Log

So thank goodness we had a better night last night. Bobby went down around 8:20, and although he did stir around shortly at around 10:30 he went back to sleep on his own and didn't make a peep till 4:30 am. I couldn't believe it. I found myself up tiptoeing around his room at 2am and again at 3:30 just to make sure he was still breathing and all. But thank goodness all was well...he finally just conked out. Last night's peace was well needed because the night before episode's almost got the best of me. He was up and down crying all night and when I went in to check on him his hand was ice cold (from being the only thing exposed in the air I guess, even though is ears nose and face were fine??) Anyway,that's a whole other story...point is, I had just had enough. The doctor told me that it should only take three nights before he will just start sleeping through the night. Well that's the part of the deal that wasn't working...he wasn't getting any closer to sleeping through the night, the only difference was he was getting used to me not coming to take care of him when he woke up. Not a good enough answer for me. I don't enjoy ignoring my crying baby...so unless things started immediately improving then I was NOT going to spend one more night leaving him to cry himself to sleep when I could be there to comfort him. YES yes, I know he needs to learn to do it on his own. It is what is best for him. But its so hard to be strong and I want him to know I am there for him and he is safe and loved and he can rest peacefully knowing I will be there when he wakes up. So I gave myself two more nights. If he didn't show some improvement then we will just going to have to figure something else out. THEN last night went so much better and I feel refreshed on the whole idea. Maybe this WILL work eventually. So for now, I am going to keep after it. Mommy has got to stay strong...because I have huge feeling that this is WAY harder on me than it actually is on him. Actually that becomes obvious to me every morning when I DO get to go get him and he is smiling from EAR to EAR to see me! He has no recollection that I deserted him all night long. Thank god for that...I don't know if I could bare it if he were able to show me how much I hurt him by ignoring him.

So my only lingering thought on this whole ordeal is...what if he gets another bout of teething during all of this? I mean that could happen at any time and he might actually need some cuddling comfort, or Tylenol, or teething tablets, or he wants to nurse for comfort etc...and I will just be ignoring him from my bedroom without knowing that this is any different? I hate the idea of this...

Two down...one to go...

When Bobby had his 6 month checkup the other day we were discussing Bobby's recent regression in sleeping. I knew this moment was coming and here it was...the doctor officially telling us its time to "let him cry it out". I have been dreading this moment. I (like most) can not bare the sound of my baby crying and so it to let it go unnoticed in the night would be fighting every instinct in my body telling me to rush to my baby when he needs me. But the doctor had a good argument...he said we were "rewarding him for waking up with attention when we rush to his crib side". ahhhh...I can see that. He said that after a baby has doubled their birth weight they don't nutritionally need to eat in the night...its just habit. He said if I had a four or five year old that wanted cookies and milk at 2 am every night I would never go for that...so I shouldn't feel any different now. Well how long is too long to let him cry, I asked. His exact words were...if crying were bad for a baby then yes, we would have to set a limit but crying does not hurt a baby in any way...its actually the best exercise that they get...its good for the heart and lungs...so there is no limit. He will fall back asleep when he wears himself out. Next question was....how long will it take to break him from waking up...I don't think I can handle this crying it out thing very long. He says, it should only take about 3 days. REALLY?! ok I can really try and do this. Three long nights...or getting up four to five times a night for the next 6 months? I try my best at 3 nights.

So Friday night was our first try....right of the bat I should NOT have chosen this night. Bobby's six month pictures were first thing Saturday morning and haven't a tired baby was not part of my plan. The first shift seemed to go fine. He woke up around 1am and he cried for about 25 minutes before giving up and going back to sleep. This is not so bad I told myself...I can do this. UNTIL 3:45 came around and Bobby did NOT give up till almost 6 am!! That's a little over two hours people! It was AWFUL! I was throwing pillows and getting so upset in my room begging him in my head to PLEASE give up and go to sleep...we had pictures in just a matter of hours and we ALL needed the rest! FINALLY finally he fell back asleep. I did it! I won!! I didn't give up! One night down...two to go.

Last night went A LOT smoother. It helps that we had a late night out over watching the OU game at the inlaws house...so when we got home around 11 half the night was gone. I know he woke up at least two times but honestly I can't remember how long each crying session lasted because I fell back to sleep myself. But I KNOW that they were nothing like the night before! Thank goodness. Sooo one more night and hopefully we are home free! I have to admit I almost MISS Bobby in the night cause I am not able to see him at our late night nursing sessions...BUT I know I need to do this because its what is best for him and I both.

He is just such a sweet sweet boy. Not giving him everything he wants is just such a difficult task for me! I love him sooo much. All this talk makes me miss him at the moment...I think I will go join him in his nap now...I need some snuggle time!

Happy 1/2 Birthday to Bobby!

Today Bobby is 6 months old!! WHERE has the time gone? Things have just been moving sooo fast! I don't like it. I wish I could just press slow mode! I said that to someone at work the other day and their response was...don't press slow mode, press record. Isn't that the truth? You just wish you could record every single day as a memory of this wonderful time and box it up to never lose it.

When I complaining to my sister Alison about time moving so fast she told me a quote about parenthood/babies and it has not left my mind since. She said...Taking care of a baby: the days are long but the months pass by so fast. I think EVERY new mother can relate to that statement!


Bobby, looking back at these pictures I can't believe how small you once were...

2 days old

1 mth old

2 mths old

3 mths old

4 mths old

5 mths old

6 mths old

Hopes & Dreams for the next 365 days...

So I pooped out at the end of the challenge...but there was one day that I wished I had time to blog because I think it will be fun to look back on later. Hence the title Hopes & Dreams for the next 365 days.

A lot has happened to me in the last year...we had ups and downs and life went in directions that I never expected. BUT we not only survived...I somehow have come out on the other end happier than ever! I guess that's what a little baby will do to you...pure bliss! Although I have to admit that I think my little angel is specifically special, but I am sure all mom's would feel that way.  My goal for the next year is to really really try and absorb and enjoy every single second of life.

A list in no particular order...Take advantage of getting together with friends, play and giggle with Bobby instead of watching TV, get outside and take walks when the weather is beautiful, create new traditions on the holidays, allow myself to buy things that make me happy, not work late to try get ahead but instead get home to my family, get Bobby the best specialist in the world lined up to help him with his arm, spend as much time as possible with siblings and family, take a trip, visit call and absorb every single second with my grandma that I have, do something special for my husband, find a way to every show my appreciation to my mother-in-law for watching our angel every day...not because she feels she has too or that she gets compensated in ANY way...but because she truly loves Bobby with all of her heart and WANTS to take care of him, nurse Bobby until he is a year old, be a better friend, give more back to those who have always given to me, prove to work that I am still focused, reliable and hard working even after having a baby, kiss my dogs and try and show them I still adore them even though Bobby has taken over their world, enjoy cozy evenings at home with my four most favorite creatures on the planet Robby, Bobby, Kayli and Coco...and last but not least...smile and look around ...I am sooooo blessed and I take it for granted every day...I don't want to just go through the motions of life...I want to ENJOY EVERY BIT OF IT!