Friday, December 20, 2013

Friday, December 13, 2013

A day in the Life...

A Day in the life…

Since I have a baby, my morning starts EXTRA early…Jaden usually stirs around anywhere between 2:30 -3:30am time range. I know it sounds crazy but I am not one of those momma’s that can’t wait for their babies to sleep through the night. Jade did two nights ago and I MISSED her so much by morning. I felt like we missed usually quiet time together. Not that she is really awake during any of it anyway. She stirs around by wiggling and grunting (not a big crier) and I stumble in there and change her diaper in the dim light of the hall so its not too bright, then I nurse her back to sleep and she snuggles and snoozes through the whole thing. I swear her sleepy nursing is like euphoria for her….she is just so at peace. She goes back down super easy, I rarely have trouble of her fighting back to sleep IN the night. Back to bed I go…and snuggle back into a warm toddler that has rolled into my spot on the bed.

Then the alarm goes off at 5:30AM. Robby jumps out of bed like it’s no big deal. I lay there wishing it wasn’t time to start the day. He goes in the bathroom banging around (bull in a china cabinet)so again, I mosey on into Jade’s room and nurse, change her diaper and then I tuck her in her carseat. Robby has finished getting ready, started the truck, and took all the backpacks and lunches to the car by then…and is usually waiting for me with a sleepy bobby draped over his shoulder. The second bobby hears or see’s me he immediately starts whining that he wants his mommy. I LOVE it. I grab my robe and house shoes, take that growing-way-to-big boy on my chest and we make our way out to the truck. The instant we walk outside and feel the change in air, he immediately tucks his arms inside my robe and grabs me tight. Another mommy moment I SOAK up with JOY every day. I load him up in his carseat and tuck a blanket around him like a burrito and kiss him repeatedly until he tells me to stop in an annoyed tone. To which I reply, you love my kisses, you only pretend to not like them. EVERY SINGLE DAY we do this. then I hurry around to the other side of the truck where robby has loaded Jade and I kiss her a few dozen times till Robby tells me to knock it off (she can’t fight me off herself yet) and then I move to the next window (robby’s) give him a kiss and we exchange “be careful’s, have a good days, and love you’s”. again…EVERY SINGLE DAY we do this. Then I usually run back inside and jump back in bed for a few minutes to warm back up! This morning, I was a good girl and did NOT get back in the bed, instead I slid on my tennis shoes and went straight to the tread mill in the garage to knock my run out of the way for the day. I jumped in the shower and then I sit down for makeup. I setup my breastpump next to my makeup counter so I can multi task while sitting still. I pump and get makeup done in about 15-20 mins. Then I have to blow dry my hair (5 mins) and run a straightener through it (another 5 mins). I try to quickly go put on my clothes which should take no time at all, but sometimes I don’t’ know what I am wearing and I can waste a good ten minutes doing that. I am usually pushing the clock by then and need to hurry…I run in the kitchen and wash my pump, grab a granola bar and a bottle of water and run out the door. I have to back my car out and then run inside again to open Coco’s doggie door so she can access to the garage all day (yes, gross I know but the garage is better than an accident in the house!) and then off to work I go (7AM). I have a 35 min commute and then I can start my day at work. Goal is to be there by 7:30…usually get there 7:40.

I have to pump again mid-morning, and then I usually start my lunch hour around 11:30ish give or take. I change my clothes in the office bathroom and go run the trail at the park behind our building. I try and do this every day of the week that I don’t’ have lunch plans with Tara, or have an appt ,or an longer errand that HAS to be done. I am very stingy with my lunch hours…I have a lot to cram in each day. After I run the trail I climb the stairs of the building. The days that I have run outside I do 12 sets of stairs…if its too cold outside to run I will just do the stairs 2 times for my exercise. That 72 sets of stairs. I feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest! BUT I STILL have a few pounds of baby weight to go so I am determined to keep after it. Then I run back down stairs change my clothes and still have a half hour to run a quick errand. I usually just need to make my daily phone calls. Call robby check on his day, call kaye and check on how the kids day is going, and call skye and chatter for the reminder of the time and head back to work. Then I head in the kitchen to heat up a frozen lunch (that I EAT every single day, don’t’ worry I am a repetitive eater so it is my preference, not my discipline). And I go back to my desk to proceed to eat the low calorie food with an oversized portion of chips (probably the reason I am still fighting the last few pounds, HA! But I can’t be perfect everywhere…if I am TOO strict on myself I will end up overeating sometime later). Then work work work, pump again mid-afternoon and then at 4:30 it’s time to go. I fight traffic on the commute again, as I make my same three phone calls on the way home. Then I change my clothes as fast as I can so that I can be ready when the kids walk in the door.

I grab Bobby and hug and kiss him like crazy until we get inside and I usually have cartoons on and ready for him when he walks in (if he falls asleep on the way home, he is usually grumpy so he can stare at the tv for a few minutes as he wakes up). I grab Jade and nurse her on the couch sitting next to Bobby and Robby goes through the mail. I put Jade down under her playmate or up on the island in her bumbo and I start dinner. About half the time robby will clean up dinner and I lay on the floor playing with the kids. I pack up Bobby clothes in his backpack and pack his lunch for the next day and we tinker some more with toys etc. If it’s a bath night for Jade, I get that ready in the kitchen sink and robby helps me bathe her…she is AWFULLY wiggly! Then lotion her up and fresh jammies, and comb her hair and fill up her humidifier for the night. We play some more and then I put her down around 8. Then if I haven’t gotten my exercise in yet for the day, the boys and I head to the garage so I can run on the treadmill, as robby does copper, and bobby plays with toys. Then its time for bobby’s bath. I still take a bath with him and its one of my favorite times a day because it’s his and I’s activity together. We have lots of boat toys and he loves playing in the water. I get him out and in fresh jammies and comb his hair and robby brushes his teeth, takes him to pee and we all get in bed. Yep, he sleeps with us. We don’t mind it at all….I can’t even imagine him not sleeping in there. We tickle and giggle till about 9 and then we turn on ONE cartoon for bobby to wind down and then its lights out anywhere between 9:30-10pm. Jade used to wake up around 11:30pm ….BUT recently she has been sleeping better so it may have just been that damn cold she had forever that was causing her trouble.

And then it all begins again…..


Monday, November 11, 2013

As I read a blog post of one my all time favorite authors, Sundry, I found myself really stopping to think, as she often makes me do. As she reminisced about an old town she grew up in, a prior life so to say...I found myself deeply relating.

"I don’t want to go back, not really. But it’s unsettling, somehow, to have the sense that your footprints have been all but erased over the years. To wonder what it will be like to someday look back on your life as it is right now, in all its well-worn grooves, and barely recognize what you see."

I know this feeling well. The unsure feeling of wanting to step back in time, recreate pleasant memories of a prior life just to see them again, and the odd feeling of realizing you don't recognize the happiness when you are in current day. After my parents divorced, right as I moved away to college, my family home was passed around a few times between the two of them before deciding to sell it to a family friend. This very transaction haunts me to this day. Why did it have to go away? The one place that holds so much of my past, isn't there to go back too. And to happen at such a jolting time, when I was already trying to leave the nest for the first time. The idea of clinging to my parents wasn't an option, as their lives were in a stage of transition themselves... but to add insult to injury, I no longer had a safe haven called "home" left to go back to either. I don't often go back to my hometown these days, but every single time I do, I drive back by that house, trying to reach back into my old life, remember it, take comfort in it, and then do what inevitably needs done anyway...move on.

I also think this is where my obsession has always lied in the holidays, they were in my mind always the very best time of the year. The day everyone pretended that we were as fancy and well put together as it always seemed on the surface. We all dressed in our nicest clothing, the entire family went to church, always a big fancy meal...everyone was happy, or at least they pretended. So much to my husband's annoyance, I find myself trying to recreate those "happy times" over and over and extend the holiday feeling as long as possible. To him, Christmas decorating is just an annoying task that needs to be done each year to pacify me. To me, it's a window to my past happiness, its trying to fulfill the never ending hole in my soul.

What this all boils down to is MY children. Realizing how all the little things we do in our everyday lives form memories and comfort in their lives for years beyond what we realize. Not only do I want them to remember their childhood fondly, I myself ALSO want to remember their childhood as one of the most wonderful time frames of my life. I want to be able to look back and remember these years when we pretending with Santa, eating our good night snack by the glow of the Christmas tree, I want absorb it all Jillian would phoning this in.

Friday, November 1, 2013


This title has never been more has just been such a miserable week! Between family pictures, fall festivals at school, parent teacher conferences, and trick or treating I have had enough...and did I mention the small detail that there has been someone sick in our house everyday for at least two weeks! First Bobby with the cold, then Jade with the cold (that still will not die!) then on to this terrible ANNOYING stomach bug that refuses to leave me alone (and managed to hit every single one of our family members as well! But of course I get it the most severe). I started with it on Monday and on to Tuesday but thought I could go on living...then Weds around lunch I suddenly started feeling like everything was going down...spiraling DOWN FAST. I survived about an another hour at work before I gave in and headed home. I spend the next 17 hours in bed (other than getting up to feed the baby and making Bobby some mac&chz for dinner (how I even got that accomplished I have no idea...I guess a mother never really can stop). And I did my best to pull it together for trick or treating last night. I feel quite a bit better today...still no where near 100% but my fever, headache, and the aches are FINALLY gone! My dad emailed me this afternoon saying he saw the bug on the news and it should last five days...well today is day 5! So please god, say I will be over this by tomorrow. We still have one more halloween get together to go and I would like to actually enjoy it!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

We have kind of had a rough few days...I know so much has to be due to this crazy weather. Everyone's allergies are just going CRAZY! Bobby started out with a fever last Weds night and then acted fine on ThursDAY then fever again all evening and then again better on Friday.But then the snot made its way down into this chest and a terrible cough ensued. We had a weekend full of plans, nothing major just get togethers with friends and a birthday party, but enough that I nervous every day that he wasn't 100% that we should just cancel everything. But he seems to be FEELING better. So theres the question...where is the line? Do you stop life and keep the child home to rest when you know he's trying to recover...or do resume normal activities assuming that their actions will tell the story of how they feel? I mean as long as they aren't burning a fever you have to almost move on, there is no telling how long a cough will last! On the side note though, I did let Bobby stay home from school on Monday to get some extra rest and try and complete his recovery. Jade on the other hand has been a trooper...there were a few questionable moments where I would get terrified that she was coming down with a bug also...but thank the lord above (knock on wood) so far so good. And the great news is that I think we may have finally kicked thrush! 

Eating her ba-ba at grandma's house...

So have I mentioned how hard I have been working out? The second I got the ok from the doctor at the 6 week mark from having Jade I started exercising. I ran at first but my knees were just killing me! So I switched it up to some workout DVD's. Jillian Michaels to be specific. I have stuck with it every since. I am talking working out 4 or 5 times a week. Its been alot of work but its paying off. I still mix in running at the park behind my office on my lunch hour every once in a while but for the most part I can contribute most of my weight loss to Jillian. I started back to work at a weight plateau (where my body naturally stopped losing from the baby) and since then (Aug 1st) I have lost 15 more lbs. I have an additional 10 left to get back to pre-pregnancy weight. But I am feeling close to normal these days. I do have to say though, my body is different this time of round. After Bobby it resumed normal position without much trouble. But this time I have formed some trouble spots that I have never had issues with before! Oh well, that keeps me focused...onward we go!

This weekend we have family pictures scheduled...boy this certainly can become a chore. Planning outfits, thinking up a vision, a location, a has to just all fall in place. This year is especially important beacause we have our newest addition of Jaden, so the pressure is on even thicker than usual so I can hopefully get one I am happy enough with that I can order a big mantle size picture with the four of us. This tradition of family pictures is something I have kept up since Bobby was born and I am obsessed with taking one every fall to be able to look back and see our family grow. Can you imagine being to pull out all 18 Christmas cards from our children's youth and see what we looked like from year to year? I can't wait...

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Is this week over yet?!

Boy, its been a long one for me. We had some unexpected relatives in town the first part of the week, a makeup soccer game on a work night, and a certain little lady in our house has been keeping me up at night. I honestly don't know what has gotten in to her. Usually she is on her schedule by the clock (without any encouragement...she just likes her routine)...but lately getting her to bed has been difficult AND she isn't always quick to go BACK to sleep in the night (that has NEVER been an issue before). To make matters worse, yesterday she started getting a snotty nose and watery eyes too! This is our 3rd runny nose since she was born. We have yet to have to do any doctoring for it...but I still HATE it cause I worry about her breathing etc. Not to mention we still have the thrush! It isn't budging!! And just to top it all off, a mysterious bug bite on my forearm is RED and swollen like a spider bite or something. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!

So speaking of soccer...I am afraid we might give up on it. Bobby just does NOT like it. He literally STANDS there on the field while all the other kids chase the ball. No amount of bribing, encouragement, or energy-inducing-candy has made a difference. I kept hoping the more we went, the more comfortable he would become with the idea of it all. But no such luck. I don't know if it's just "soccer" that doesn't interest him, whether he just doesn't like the confrontation of fighting with the other kids for the ball, if he isn't going to like sports at all?, or whether he is just too young to care at this point and we should just try again next year? But the main point is...he doesn't like it...he will flat out say that. So I feel guilty even putting him through the misery of standing out there getting yelled at to "GET THE BALL" for an hour two times a week. Even Robby (the most competitive sports nut of them all) just doesn't feel right about the situation. It's funny how almost ALL situations are different than how you imagined them when it's YOUR child. I am sure in his mind he thought he would be so tough with his son, and MAKE him like sports cause that's what boys do. BUT when its your beautiful little boy's eyes looking back at you and you can SEE that his heart isn't in it...NONE of that matters anymore. and the words "whatever you want to do is fine Bobby" comes pouring out of your mouth.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Weekend update

Weekend was good. BUSY. Between soccer practice and games, the weather changing, a birthday party, grocery shopping and the OU game...I was exhausted and didn't even leave the house yesterday! Of course, there is still cooking to do, laundry to fold, packing backpack/lunchbag/diaper bag. So no day is completely for rest...but it was a pleasant weekend over all. Bobby was full of beans as usual, and wants everyone to "go to his room and build New York City skyscrapers" with him (with his building blocks). He got in trouble numerous times this weekend for shooting his nerf gun at naughty things (Coco, daddy etc.), drove his tractor for hours (hauling Coco in the trailor/wagon he has attached to the back), and got to go mowing with daddy, hopefully for the final time this season. Jaden decided she wanted to change up her whole sleeping schedule randomly this I was up at least twice a night every night instead of her usual 3am feeding. But her smiles and giggles sure make up for it. I don't know if she is going through a growth spur or what...but it didn't seem any different during the day. At least the thrush hasn't seemed to bother her. She still has white patches in her mouth but I am not sure when to expect for it to be gone? We both seem to feel fine? She started rolling from back to belly on Sunday morning, and now you can't keep her on her back! Makes me nervous even on the changing table! Of course she gets stuck on her belly and and starts grunting till you come help...but none the less I think she is very excited of her newest trick. ADORABLE!

I finally got my wedding ring on this morning...still pretty tight! But I hopes that when these last 12 lbs come off I will be able to wear it comfortably...otherwise I am just going to have to bite the bullet and get them resized. I don't remember having this much trouble getting my rings back on after Bobby!

Did anyone else LOVE getting to have their windows open all weekend?! Not to mention first FIRE of the season! I LOVE FALL!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

UGHH does anyone know why i can get my paragraph breaks to work? sorry for that massively long randomly paragraph in the last one!!!
Yesterday we had Jaden's 4mth month check up. Things went pretty well...she's is growing fast weighing in at 15 lbs 2.5 oz (90%) and 26 inches long (95%) her head was 75%. Only bad news is that doctor mentioned it looked like she has a slight case of thrush. UH first thought is well, it can't be that bad considering neither of us were suffering from it. She seems to eat normally and I haven't been in any pain. So out the door we went to fill the prescription for a drop of medicine in each of her cheeks four times and day and a cream for me. As we got home and I tried not to stress too much about it all...and then about that time Bobby says mommy, look at this and lifts up his shirt to show a big rash on his chest. Keep in mind we JUST LEFT the doctor's office. WHY does this happen? If he had JUST shown me 30 mins ago I could have asked right then! I quickly panic'd silently and text his teacher to see if he had eaten anything out of the ordinary that day...but of course he hadn't. Again, I tried not stress to much but as the evening wore on I noticed him scratching at I decided to inquire my good friend Nicole. Nicole is a pediatrician and although she promises not to care...I do my best to not pester her with constant questions. I am sure she would enjoy a break when she gets home, ya know? But being the kind, patient friend that she is...she never lets it show if she is getting annoyed. Thank you again Nicole. Anyway back to the story...after a short chat about what all the things it could be I decide he isn't going to die and we put a cream on it and moved on. Bobby's teacher text me today and said he hasn't been lets hope for the best. So after all the "not" stressing over ailments from my children that I accomplished over the evening...I found myself feeling still overwhelmed at the end of the night. I have to say adding a second child to our routine has been a million times easier that going from zero to one...but there are still nights when I find myself upset that I didn't feel like I got quality time with either child. Just back and forth and dinner, and messes...and before you know the night is over and I find myself wondering if they ever felt connected to me...or whether I was just going through the motions. This very issue has been the one thing that has haunted me these last four months...but I am determined to talk myself out of it everytime. I KNOW that its harder with two kids...and doing the best I can is ALL I can do. Today is a new day and I just need to try and make it better than the last. You know? In other news, work is going well. If anyone noticed that I dropped off the face of the planet the last year or so...that was a direct result of an OVERWHELMING job in Finance that I took at work. I thought it was something I wanted and although I don't regret the experience I gained there at all, I am much happier to be back to accounting, my first love. I know, I know boring to most...but it works for me. It makes sense. And last but not least...I finally ordered both kid's halloween costumes. Bobby was easy...he picked out a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume. CUTE. And as I struggled to figure out what struck my fancy for Jade, I made the mistake of asking Bobby. A "unicorn" mommy..."a purple unicorn". SAY WHAT?!? Where does he come up with these things? ohhh hmmm Bobby that IS a good idea. I guess I will look around?! I tried, I really did. I googled all sorts of stores that carried unicorn costumes but in the end a Ladybug costume from Carters on sale with a 15% off coupon on top finally won me over. I played it off well though...just leaving the ladybug costume on the ipad randomly while Bobby was near...and then acting so sly I say to Bobby OH LOOK at this ADORABLE Ladybug costume! You think we should get this for Jade? Would she look so CUTE in that?! "Ohh YES mommy I LOVE that!" SCORE! it worked!! until...the next thing out of his mouth was..."and I want to be a caterpillar to go with her". UGHHHHH here we go again...why do I even give the child an option again? I should have just made the choice like a GROWN woman and moved on. BUT its just SOO cute that he has an opinion! So for now we are going to stick with what we have got...but if the turtle costume comes and he isn't going for it...the caterpillar costume hunt will begin. Ohhh the things we do for these children!