Night 6: The Sleep Log

So thank goodness we had a better night last night. Bobby went down around 8:20, and although he did stir around shortly at around 10:30 he went back to sleep on his own and didn't make a peep till 4:30 am. I couldn't believe it. I found myself up tiptoeing around his room at 2am and again at 3:30 just to make sure he was still breathing and all. But thank goodness all was well...he finally just conked out. Last night's peace was well needed because the night before episode's almost got the best of me. He was up and down crying all night and when I went in to check on him his hand was ice cold (from being the only thing exposed in the air I guess, even though is ears nose and face were fine??) Anyway,that's a whole other story...point is, I had just had enough. The doctor told me that it should only take three nights before he will just start sleeping through the night. Well that's the part of the deal that wasn't working...he wasn't getting any closer to sleeping through the night, the only difference was he was getting used to me not coming to take care of him when he woke up. Not a good enough answer for me. I don't enjoy ignoring my crying baby...so unless things started immediately improving then I was NOT going to spend one more night leaving him to cry himself to sleep when I could be there to comfort him. YES yes, I know he needs to learn to do it on his own. It is what is best for him. But its so hard to be strong and I want him to know I am there for him and he is safe and loved and he can rest peacefully knowing I will be there when he wakes up. So I gave myself two more nights. If he didn't show some improvement then we will just going to have to figure something else out. THEN last night went so much better and I feel refreshed on the whole idea. Maybe this WILL work eventually. So for now, I am going to keep after it. Mommy has got to stay strong...because I have huge feeling that this is WAY harder on me than it actually is on him. Actually that becomes obvious to me every morning when I DO get to go get him and he is smiling from EAR to EAR to see me! He has no recollection that I deserted him all night long. Thank god for that...I don't know if I could bare it if he were able to show me how much I hurt him by ignoring him.

So my only lingering thought on this whole ordeal is...what if he gets another bout of teething during all of this? I mean that could happen at any time and he might actually need some cuddling comfort, or Tylenol, or teething tablets, or he wants to nurse for comfort etc...and I will just be ignoring him from my bedroom without knowing that this is any different? I hate the idea of this...